Meditation on my own death
On day one of the intense meditation sessions we meditated on our own death. This is something many Buddhists meditate on often in order to prepare the mind for such event as well as learning to forgive now rather than your last moments on Earth, if you’re lucky to have that time. As soon as I finished the session I ran off to write about it so with a few things removed here’s what I wrote:
August 14th – That was the most intense meditation I’ve ever experienced. We pictured our own death (at this age in our life), getting sick and going to the doctor to find out we have six months to live. Who do we tell, what do we do. After sometime we can’t live a regular day. We start to become too weak and watch others carry on with their lives and their daily problems. We become bedridden. Who’s at our side. Then it’s our last days in a hospital at home in hospice, whichever. Who do we forgive, what do we regret. What did we do that we’re proud of, what life goals did we accomplish. We picture ourselves forgiving those who have hurt us and asking for forgiveness to those we’ve hurt. Most of the class was crying as I was. We said goodbyes in our final hour. My room was like a dream garden filled with gorgeous flowers from all my loved ones. All my friends and family came and I pictured saying g’bye to all of them. I didn’t want to be alone when I went, but thankfully was surrounded by everyone I love. The last few minutes we thought of what we learned from Buddhism. Calming ourselves with the notion of internal happiness. I said g’bye to my body and thanked my mind and began to think of all the good qualities I was taking with me (Buddhist believe your mind carries on to your next life, I’m not sure if I believe in re-birth but practiced it for this meditation). Knowing when this body let’s go, I will soon find another and hopefully in a good or better place due to the compassionate heart I’ve lived with in this life. Knowing I can’t take my loved ones with me they are who I am, who made me this person, this mind so they will truly live on with me to the next life. And I hope for them to take my qualities as they continue theirs. This gives me peace. Then we take all the suffering from those who are dying with me at that exact moment (called tong-len meditation). We take their suffering and give them all our love and positive qualities as we take our final breath. This is such a strong, astonishing meditation that truly makes you realize you need to value life every second. Be thankful and compassionate and live with no regrets, guiltiness, and forgive those who we should as well as ask for forgiveness. I’ve pictured friends and family and myself dying thousands of times. I usually find myself crying and I think how horrible is this. How wrong and horrible is my mind to picture this. But after this session I understand it’s a good form of meditation. It’ll help me value those people and value my own life. It’ll remind me not to take life for granted and love all beings. I’m very thankful of this meditation and thankful I came to Tushita to experience it. ❤
Sorry if that was a little too deep, but I hope it reminds all to let go of dumb grudges, let go of unnecessary anger, live your life to the fullest, and to not regret a second of it.
Love from the bottom of my heart, Tor
Tushita Meditation Group 🙂