Ways Out
Ways out. Out of your situation, out of the country mixed with a few personal stories.
tw: abortion
The future of the United States is bleak. Every child born today will be entering a new world, closer to the dystopia we can’t imagine, yet these are the long, slow steps to it. 50 years of history overturned like that. Because we allow eight individuals to decide the life and future of 329.5 million people.
Land of the free? Far far from it.
In 2016 I wrote a blog called 2016: The Great, The Shakeup and the Devastation. From that election year, we predicted this nightmare and after RBG died, we knew it was a case of when. While I wholeheartedly believe we should live in the now, my country’s scary attributions must make us defend our future. These monumental horrors are only getting worse. How long until parts of the country are closer to living in an episode of Handmaid’s Tale?
We must continue to fight. We must continue to be angry. We must use our voices. And we must use our power to vote.
While I type this from the safety of my country, New Zealand, I know people are scared and they need options. Options and backups for a number of reasons.
Below you’ll find resources for a way out. A way out of a situation and a way out of the country if you so desire. Skip the next section to get there, or read on for sources to help and a bit of my own story intertwined.
First off, if you or anyone you know needs help seeking an abortion, don’t hesitate to reach out.
If you need access to pills, go here.
This website will sort out a way to help you get one.
For those in the south, head here for funding and help.
Join this “camping” group on fb that is run by a travel girls group.
Cover your trail. Use a private link, a VPN, a different search engine, and make sure to clear your history. Express VPN is our to-go.
Here is a list of ones that offer free trials.
Log in and select a different country to search for info or to use this site in a red state.
It’s recommended to delete your period tracker apps, and use the ole paper calendar if you need to. I can’t believe I even have to type this, what kind of world are we living in?
If you need to go “camping” in another state, women everywhere are willing to help. Reach out anonymously if you need to and email me here, I will do whatever it takes to help.
More resources below
Everyone is connected to an abortion
Whether you like it or not, everyone has some degree of closeness to an abortion. 1 in 4 womxn have them. If you’re a male, then I guarantee a womxn in your life; Mom, sis, friend, partner, has either had one or known someone to. This overturn affects every person in the States, but the womxn are the ones that will suffer. That will die. That will have to raise their rapist’s child. That don’t have a choice over their own fucking body. It’s inhumane. It’s wrong and we have to change it for our future and our kids’ futures.
I’ve grown up with abortion.
In high school a friend got pregnant. She told me, we didn’t believe it and she took more tests that revealed a second faint line. Many tears later and her decision was made with her family and she got one.
In college another friend.
A relative had a miscarriage and had to get a D&C. If she didn’t have that, which under some of these laws will be illegal, she probably wouldn’t be here today.
Me in my 20’s. In a foreign country. One that just legalized abortion.
More stories in my 30’s.
A mom who just had a baby.
1 in 4 womxn.
See the thing about abortions is that they will always happen. What we womxn risk is our safety and our freedom. You take them away from us, well, that’s when we die. Already, 23,000 womxn die a year from unsafe abortions and I’m scared to see how high that number will increase.
I was in a foreign country. Privileged. With enough money and enough of the local language under my belt to find how to get one. In a very religious country. Where it was banned.
This story is one I’ve always wanted to tell, and one that I don’t share to gain anything from, but hopefully, it can help someone feel less alone. Nobody wants an abortion. Nobody needs to explain their choice for one. We have the right to control our bodies, no government, or religion should say so.
When my test turned positive, I knew I wanted one.
It was already decided in my gut, but we still outweighed every situation and I know it was the right choice for us at that moment.
We’d never be where we are now.
Ry and I were backpacking in a mess of highs and lows, figuring out our relationship while on the road, getting by on a tight budget of cheap hostels and overnight buses. At one unfortunate part of the trip, Ry’s small backpack was stolen. The one with all the goods. Passport, cash, tablet, hard drives, camera and so much more. While spending many days in a big city trying to sort new identification, I realized I was late. I took a test, it was negative and we continued on with our travels.
About two weeks later it still hadn’t come. After an incredible multi-day trek, we returned to civilization on a Sunday. Mother’s Day. I popped a ring on my wedding finger and went to the local pharmacy for a test. You had to request them over the counter in this country.
I returned to our accommodation and immediately took it, knowing very well what the answer would be. I’ll never forget that bathroom.
That guest house. That feeling. The tears. The hours spent on my laptop figuring out our options.
See, we were at the bottom of the world. With a couple of k in our bank account to backpack and bus our way up. No jobs to go back to. No homes.
We weren’t ready.
Our passports were different. Our countries require marriage in order to get work visas in the other’s country and those visas could take over a year.
I could picture the future and it didn’t end up with us together.
As I said, I knew my decision beforehand, and even though we hashed out every possibility, I followed my intuition.
Here we were at the bottom of the world with Ry’s emergency (and limited) passport and we needed a way out.
Only hours after I took the test, I had help and an answer. I found a group on FB, I started chatting with a woman and she gave me a way out.
There was one country somewhat nearby where they were allowed. But Ryan’s passport couldn't go there. So I’d have to go alone.
My other option, the one I followed through with, was sending a money order to this womxn organization to, in return, receive a package.
There is always a way. Womxn will always help womxn.
We continued with our plans and crossed borders into a new country. There, I picked up my package.
Hidden in a book was my way out.
We booked a few nights in a private room. We watched Friends and I swallowed those pills with the instruction of a caring stranger.
Another bathroom I’ll never forget.
I should have gone for an ultrasound before taking them. What if they know. What if they throw me in jail. It was dumb. It could have killed me if I had an ectopic, but I was too scared.
We traveled on and when in another major city, on the instruction of the kind stranger, I went to a clinic.
A hidden clinic off the street from a bustling city street. I knocked on a signless door in an apartment building and entered a quiet, white room.
I was met with a lovely, young medical team, a team who risked their lives daily to help womxn. They already knew my story and were happy to help.
My first ever ultrasound. To make sure everything went according to plan.
It did. I was lucky.
Many womxn will be not be.
They will die.
They will be incarcerated.
They will lose control over their future.
What’s going on isn’t right. The rich, white politicians pushing their religious agendas on us are getting abortions. Their mistresses will get abortions. Their daughters will get abortions. It’s the poor, black, latine, indigenous and other people of color who will suffer. Our maternal care and death rate is already devastating. The worst in the western world.
Leave our bodies alone.
getting out.
Honestly, if I were living in the States, I’d be looking for a way out.
Now if you know me, you’ll know I promote traveling abroad. It teaches you nothing a classroom can, the experiences will last a lifetime and the humility you’ll learn will crack your heart open in ways it never has.
But unless you’re the 1%, a lifetime of living abroad comes with work abroad, which is the trickest part of the situation.
When the 2016 elections rolled around, I wrote a quick blog on “How to Spend the Next Four Years Abroad.”
I’ll give the short version, straight to the point and to the possibilities.
Get a passport if you don’t have one already. If you do make sure you have plenty of time left on it (you can’t travel if the passport is due to expire within six months). If you have dual citizenship anywhere or can apply for it through your parent. Do it. Get a second passport. It’ll give you more work opportunities and it could be cheaper for visa cost entries. Ryan’s British passport played true to this in South America where I had to pay two $160USD entries (another $160 for Brasil if we went) and he paid $0. You can thank the good ole u s a for that.
Decide what your options are: Do you have a little pot of savings? Go travel for a bit. Make the money last longer by traveling to Southeast Asia, Central or South America where your dollar goes further.
Make a plan before you run out of money. It may be possible to find hostel/guest house work, look into hospitality jobs, tourism work, teaching English or any kind of WOH opportunity. Virtual Assistants are becoming a popular nomad job. Go to Bali, almost every foreigner is working online with a much cheaper living style than back home.
If you are currently in a job you can WOH, then proposition them to continue to work while you live in other countries. Or ask for a sabbatical. More companies are recognizing them in the current climate.
For those with a skilled job i.e. in the medical field, a teacher, engineer, in construction, a chef a trade the country needs.
Both Australia and New Zealand release a shortage list of jobs they need.
Here’s a list of the available visas in Australia (their immigration process can be very expensive and long depending on the situation), but you can also apply for a 1-2 year working holiday visa if you are 18 to 30 years old (35 from some countries). You can see if you qualify here.
Check to see if your job/career is on the shortage list for New Zealand.
The country also offers a working holiday visa for certain countries. The 1-year USA Working Holiday Visa is for citizens of the States who are 18 to 30 years old and want to travel and work across the country. You need to prove you have nzd$4,200 (usd$~2645) in the bank for living/flight costs and you need full medical insurance for your stay (new). Details for other countries are here.
Try Canada? Study abroad? Here are seven countries where Americans can obtain working holiday visas.
Go WWOOFing. Follow seasonal work around the globe. Typically comes with free on-site accommodation. Australia and New Zealand have suffered without overseas pickers for the harvest seasons. Live on a vineyard and pick grapes all day. Not easy jobs. Usually grueling, but good pay and after a couple of months it’s over.
And if you really want to get far, apply for a job on the ice. In Antarctica at McMurdo Station, they need scientists and support staff.
It’s easier if you’re young and single. It’s doable for families, but you’ll need a skill that another country needs. If your current company has international offices, look into it. There is a way, you just need to make a plan and make the leap.
As always, reach out if you have any questions, my inbox is always open.
Stay angry and let’s fight this bs together.
Viktoria